What's the most embarrassing thing you didn't know or believed about cars?

"scoob" (scoobsti) 05/01/2016 at 20:30 • Filed to: None

3

100

IT’S CONFESSION TIME, OPPO.

I used to not really pay attention to any non-911 Porsche (until the 918, Cayman GT4) so I always thought the Cayman and Boxster were two very different cars, even though I didn’t know how to tell the difference between them and they looked the exact same.

One day, I discovered somebody else on the internet had the same problem as me. I was just about to agree, only until somebody else weighed in and said “One has a roof and the other doesn’t. Not hard.”

This was a huge epiphany for me.

What about you?

What’s the most embarrassing thing you didn’t know or believed about cars?

not for canada - australian in disguise > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:33

7

One time, I was in a Kia dealership, and there was a brand new Sportage with the turbo motor in the showroom.

Being me, I called the alternator the turbo.

I have never lived that down.

scoob > not for canada - australian in disguise 05/01/2016 at 20:34

19

IT IS YOU.

YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE ALTERNATOR TATTOO.

WE HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU.

jimz > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:36

12

If you tell me you have an E30, E46, or whatever, there’s a very good chance I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about (apart from that you have a BMW.)

scoob > jimz 05/01/2016 at 20:37

3

This is me, but with Mercs and Audis.

1111111111111111111111 > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:40

1

I’ll bite. Around 2005 I bought a low mile Passat that was in great shape. I thought VW was quality now. Turns out it was a complete shit show and time bomb. Now that I can afford more....sorry VAG my money will go elsewhere.

Übel > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:40

2

For probably the first two years I was into cars, I was 100,000% sure Miatas had a rotary. Imagine my shock and disappointment when that turned out not to be true.

jimz > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:41

10

yet I had some asshole on Jalopnik act genuinely disgusted that I didn’t know what BMW chassis codes referred to.

“How does someone not know that?”

“I’m not particularly interested in BMWs.”

“What kind of enthusiast are you then?”

“One who doesn’t like the same things you do, shithead.”

My citroen won't start > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:42

16

Long ago I thought “4MATIC” Mercs had 4 speed automatic gearboxes.

NJAnon > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:42

1

long time ago pre-oppo, I was talking with a coworker (who was a mechanic) and while we’re joking around I mention the truck that he’s working on has no CV joints up front. (of course a RWD truck doesn’t have that) I realized that I had been getting my reading of car parts mixed up

C62030 > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:43

1

I’ve been utterly into cars since I was a toddler, but I had no idea of the difference between manual and automatic until I was about 11 or 12. So whenever Cruis’n Exotica at Fuddruckers asked me which I wanted I picked automatic because I thought it sounded cooler.

Urambo Tauro > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:45

4

I still have a hard time telling most German cars apart. Those brands keep such a tight design language, and they rarely stray from it. In some ways, it’s admirable. In other ways, it’s frustrating and boring.

The only BMW that I can identify at-a-glance without looking at a badge is the M1.
The only Audi: a R8. Well no, I take that back; the TT is fairly easy to spot.
VW: well, I know a Beetle or Microbus when I see it...
Mercedes: that SLS.

scoob > Übel 05/01/2016 at 20:45

1

I think knowing what a rotary even is in the first two years you were into cars is an achievement in itself.

scoob > My citroen won't start 05/01/2016 at 20:45

0

Haha same here.

RazoE > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:45

2

I can tell you what year certain cars are by the color of the window switches, but cannot for the life tell you what a specific Saab model is, save the Saaburu and Saablazer SS.

marshknute > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:45

8

I didn’t know the difference between a spoiler and a wing, until I made a fool of myself during QOTD.

I also thought American V8's were unrefined garbage with pathetic power for their size. Then someone embarrassed me by pointing out that pushrod V8's and DOHC V8's have different architectures, and that Chevy’s 6.2L LS3 is actually smaller and lighter than the E92 M3's “tiny” 4.0L V8.

C62030 > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:46

1

STRING UP THE BLASPHEMER

scoob > NJAnon 05/01/2016 at 20:46

2

You see, I don’t even know what CV joints are.

oahz > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:46

0

I always thought that intercoolers and radiators were hollow and sucked in cold air.

smobgirl > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:48

2

Those are all me. I can admire some of their cars, but I’ve really never had an interest in any BMWs, Mercs, or Audis (except the ones that are laughably out of the realm of possibility). I’ve never bothered to remember what any of the models are.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > My citroen won't start 05/01/2016 at 20:48

7

Which would actually make far more sense.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > jimz 05/01/2016 at 20:49

0

Amen.

smobgirl > Urambo Tauro 05/01/2016 at 20:49

2

THIS IS SO ME.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:50

1

I thought that Porsches were RWD only for a very long time...as in I didn’t know they even came in AWD.

scoob > marshknute 05/01/2016 at 20:50

1

Spoiler vs. wing is probably very very very common.

As for the engine stuff... I have no clue. Someone could manufacture some ridiculous bullshit when it comes to stuff like that and I might actually believe it.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:51

6

I always thought people who referred to car models exclusively by their chassis codes were pedantic dicks. Now I realize they're just trying to impress people on the Internet.

NJAnon > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:51

1

On FWD cars,

CV joints deliver the torque to the front wheels during turns.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > My citroen won't start 05/01/2016 at 20:52

0

Ditto

OPPOsaurus WRX > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:53

1

Constant velocity. Just found that out looking for CV axle

Steve in Manhattan > jimz 05/01/2016 at 20:54

0

Oh, that’s me - I have no idea what the BMW platforms are. I have to google.

jimz > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:54

3

oh, another one- when I was a kid, I thought the reason cars had fans on the front of the engine was because the fan cooled the engine by blowing air past it.

scoob > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/01/2016 at 20:54

9

They do sound like it, but it’s just more specific than saying “M3", for example. Like which one do you mean? Personally I’d rather them say the code than the year.

Steve in Manhattan > not for canada - australian in disguise 05/01/2016 at 20:55

1

Oh please - they do not look all that different. I’d have forgiven you.

scoob > NJAnon 05/01/2016 at 20:55

0

Ah yeah that is hilarious then, saying that to a mechanic.

Urambo Tauro > not for canada - australian in disguise 05/01/2016 at 20:57

3

I used to think that all superchargers were the type with a long snout sticking out from the intake. Imagine my surprise when I saw one that looked like a belt-driven turbo.

scoob > jimz 05/01/2016 at 20:57

0

They don’t? I hate this thread now. Everything I thought I knew is a lie.

Flat Six > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:58

1

Way way back I told some friends my truck had a V4. They all got a good laugh about that and let me know I had an I4 and there is no such thing as a V4. Well 20 years later the jokes on them because the Porsche 919 has a V4.

No Prius Needed > My citroen won't start 05/01/2016 at 20:59

2

I thought that BLUTEC meant that the car had Bluetooth. I was 8.

Urambo Tauro > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/01/2016 at 20:59

0

I like chassis codes, especially when you want to describe a car that’s basically the same underneath, but you don’t want to recite all the platform mates. It’s not so much a snobby thing as it is a nerdy thing.

Frenchlicker > scoob 05/01/2016 at 20:59

2

I didn't know the difference between a short block and a long block until recently. I could make a looooong list of small mistakes I've made while working on things. Also as many others have listed I don't know the difference between many of the German cars. I would like to know but I'm not interested enough to research it.

JR1 > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:00

1

When I was younger I thought it was totally okay to leave my truck in 4x4 drive even if it was dry

El Rivinado > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:00

1

Until mid-2014, I never though Volvo was considered a Luxury brand. I always thought it was an appliance brand like Honda or Toyota.

MLGCarGuy > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:02

1

I was looking at my Versa’s engine bay and called the alternator the CVT.

I feel stupid.

Wobbles the Mind > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:02

1

I think I’ve confessed this before, but I always confused the Optima and Altima names. Before the 2011 MY redesign, I didn’t know the actual Optima even existed (though I owned a Kia Rio since 2008). I thought Nissan had the Maxima (Maximum) and the Optima (Optimum). Then that new Optima came out and I started noticing cars more, but I still wasn’t an enthusiast yet.

scoob > MLGCarGuy 05/01/2016 at 21:03

0

Well that’s a new one. I’d forgive that though since you’re like what, 12.

JK.

TheHondaBro > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:04

11

I always used to think Mustang owners weren’t murderers.

TheHondaBro > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/01/2016 at 21:05

3

But bro, I drive a Nissan NG00247GST.

scoob > TheHondaBro 05/01/2016 at 21:05

13

I used to think Hondas were fast.

Blondude > TheHondaBro 05/01/2016 at 21:07

2

UZJ-100, bitches!

TheHondaBro > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:08

1

Okay seriously, I used to think:

Lamborghini was British.

Quattro meant each wheel has its own engine.

Nissan and Acura were the same thing. (I learned about those two brands at the same time, so naturally I associated them with each other.)

jimz > marshknute 05/01/2016 at 21:08

2

domestic V8s got that reputation from the Malaise Era. In the mid-70s the EPA started clamping down on vehicle emissions. Formerly raucous V8s had to lower their compression, use milder cams and smaller carbs. And in 1975 catalytic converters were more or less mandated, which meant unleaded gas which brought about lower octane until replacement octane boosters were invented. And those early catalysts were terrible. They had poor airflow which choked the engine, they needed the engine to run slightly rich to stay hot enough to work, required air pumps to force in extra air to burn off the remaining pollutants, and because of their cost a lot of cars which formerly had better flowing dual exhausts dropped down to single.

and then starting in 1971 the industry started rating engines in SAE “net” horsepower, instead of the (inflated) “gross” horsepower they were quoting previously.

To put it into perspective, in 1970 the 500 cu.in. (8.2 liter) Cadillac V8 was rated at 400 hp and 550 lb-ft of torque (gross.) By 1976 those numbers had fallen to 190 hp and 365 lb-ft of torque (net.)

or think of this: the 1974 Mustang had no V8 available. when it was added back in 1975, the 302 (5.0 liter) engine wheezed out all of 140 hp.

so yeah, for about a decade American V8s did suck ass, mostly because they were forced to run cleaner than they ever were designed to do, and the tech/money wasn’t there to do it and still maintain performance.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:09

2

When I was younger, I thought that all the motors were in the wheels and cars without motors in the wheels were less efficient. I also thought that the music started when my mom plugged in her early 2000s cell phone in through the cigarette lighter.

Man was I ahead of the times. Your own music on a portable device that played through the car and the concept of hub motors.

scoob > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 05/01/2016 at 21:10

0

You could’ve been the next Steve Jobs, dude.

daender > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:11

1

Before I turned 9, I thought the radio in my parents’ ‘96 Honda Civic was the clock and I used to think it was broken all the time.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Flat Six 05/01/2016 at 21:11

2

But there has been a V4 for a while, Saab and Ford both had them.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:12

3

I grew up thinking the Volvo 240 was a piece of crap, because we had one. Apparently they were sent to earth by JalopJesus.

Urambo Tauro > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:13

2

The first manual transmission I drove was my parents’ Chevy pickup. The truck had no tachometer (from the factory), but it had an orange SHIFT^ light on the dash that would light up under certain circumstances.

I thought that it was a warning light. As I became more acquainted with driving the truck, I learned to anticipate when the light would come on. In this way, the truck taught me to shift early, and I thought that I was supposed to shift into 3rd at 15mph, 4th at 25mph, and 5th at 35mph.

I found myself wondering why racers liked manual transmissions. This felt way slower and less powerful than an automatic...

not for canada - australian in disguise > Wobbles the Mind 05/01/2016 at 21:16

1

In Canada we actually didn’t even get the Optima until 2011. Before then it was called the Magentis.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:16

1

Every honda owner in the area refers to his/her car by either the chassis code or engine they have in their car. When I first had my integra, i literally knew none of it. I remember I ended up buying stuff for a K series, I had a B series, I was totally embarrassed when I went to my friends shop and he had to explain to me how I just wasted a shit ton of money

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:18

1

More like the next Elon musk

Blondude > RazoE 05/01/2016 at 21:20

2

*Trollblazer

Funktheduck > My citroen won't start 05/01/2016 at 21:21

0

Me too. Couldn't figure out why you'd brag about a 4 speed on a modern car

bobbe17 > C62030 05/01/2016 at 21:26

3

I had a similar experience. A video game I used to play had the option Auto or Man. I selected Man and of course didn’t know I needed to shift so it stayed in first gear throughout the race. From that I concluded Auto meant automobile speed and Man meant man (as in human being) speed. I couldn’t understand why that’d even be an option.

Blondude > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 05/01/2016 at 21:27

1

To be fair, Honda chassis codes make absolutely no sense.

swaptastic > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:28

2

I didn’t know until recently there was a difference between powertrain and drivetrain.

C62030 > bobbe17 05/01/2016 at 21:30

0

Haha!

jimz > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/01/2016 at 21:30

1

the thing is, it’s totally appropriate for a brand-specific site or forum. On a BMW-geared forum you can assume people will know what an E30 is. On the general internet, not so much.

I mean, I can recite every Ford platform/program code there is, but I don’t expect anyone else to know what they are.

jimz > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:37

1

CV joint= constant velocity joint. it means that the input side and the output side always rotate at the same speed, regardless of the angle the joint is at. traditional universal (Cardan) joints can cause vibration because even if the input shaft rotates at a constant speed, the output side can vary based on the angle of the shafts. Old Cadillacs used to use double-Cardan CV joints on their driveshafts to quell vibrations. FWD cars have always used CV joints on the halfshafts, since the front wheels (via steering) had to apply a lot of bend angle to the drive shafts. using simple universal joints would lead to unacceptable shudder when turning.

Busslayer > Flat Six 05/01/2016 at 21:43

1

I wrote a little article about V4s awhile ago. They do exist. Mostly in motorcycles, but there are some oddball V8s that were cut in half as well.

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/the-scat-v4-14…

jimz > Flat Six 05/01/2016 at 21:45

1

Ford had a V4 in the 1960s, the Taunus and Essex 60° V4. Which SAAB also used to replace their two-stroke triple.

The Taunus V4 was later grown into the “Cologne” V6 which finally went out of production when the Ranger was discontinued in 2011.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:47

2

When I was much younger (like 7-8) I thought that solid-axle meant the axle was solid metal and that other cars used hollow axles. I didn’t have a clue about IRS then.

Urambo Tauro > swaptastic 05/01/2016 at 21:49

1

Uh-oh. I’m pretty sure I’ve been using those interchangeably...

*Googles*

Ok, so powertrain is the whole system, from the engine to the wheels, and drivetrain is all that but without the engine. Is that right?

TheJWT > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:50

3

I used to think that the ambifacient lunar wane shaft fed directly into the panendermic semi-boloid slots of the stator, completely bypassing the reciprocating dingle arm and unilateral phase detractors.

Boy was I dumb!

Amoore100 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 05/01/2016 at 21:55

0

Me too, except with the 740. But now after hearing my dad tell stories of how easy they were to fix and how they both easily had over 300K miles and how his manual Turbo wagon was the fastest manure hauler he’s ever had, I appreciate them even more.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > scoob 05/01/2016 at 21:57

0

I didn’t know the 996 and the 1st gen Boxter shared the same front end.

Hot Takes Salesman > scoob 05/01/2016 at 22:00

1

When I was little, I thought the 911 had a front engine. Now I realize that A. My kid engineering ideas made better sense than the Germans and B. This is America ! I thought, how could the engine not be in the front?

Sam > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/01/2016 at 22:00

0

Engine codes are the absolute worst. The only exceptions are the very widely know ones, like the LS or 2JZ.

Like, I have no idea what someone is saying when they tell me about their JDM R4YYZ swap in their Civic.

Hot Takes Salesman > scoob 05/01/2016 at 22:00

1

I also used to confuse Hyundai and Honda.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > marshknute 05/01/2016 at 22:02

0

Same, I thought that European engines were crazy superior. “400hp from 4.0L V8 vs 430hp from 6.2L V8? American engines suck” Well then I learned about peak hp, torque, revs etc. Seems obvious now lol.

Autofixation > scoob 05/01/2016 at 22:03

1

When the TT first came out I thought they were all twin turbo...

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Amoore100 05/01/2016 at 22:04

0

But modern trucks are quicker than 740 wagons. My Fiesta is quicker than 740 Turbo wagons. My Mom’s Corolla is quicker than 740 Turbo wagons. Our Trailblazer, was quicker than 740 Turbo wagons.

facw > not for canada - australian in disguise 05/01/2016 at 22:09

1

Plot twist, you were actually pointing at the starter?

Amoore100 > scoob 05/01/2016 at 22:09

1

I always thought that our old 740s were ancient, dating back at least a hundred years (I was four, ok?) Then my dad told me that the DL’s (240) were even older and I thought they must be museum worthy because of their age. Yeah, weird, I know.

scoob > Autofixation 05/01/2016 at 22:09

0

Makes sense.

scoob > TheJWT 05/01/2016 at 22:10

0

Umm... y-yeah!

Amoore100 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 05/01/2016 at 22:13

0

Hey this was the late ‘90s - early 2000s, 8.6 sec to 60 was ok for a wagon that probably cost a total of $1000 and was used for nothing more than kid hauling (three rows) and manure shifting (occasional yard work). Plus you can mend it with a hammer.

Land_Yacht_225 > scoob 05/01/2016 at 22:15

1

I don’t know the difference between a moonroof and a sunroof.

Birddog > TheJWT 05/01/2016 at 22:18

1

Someone wasn’t paying attention at the Rockwell Automation conference. To be fair, Las Vegas was a terrible place to bring thousands of Engineers that rarely see natural daylight.

facw > Land_Yacht_225 05/01/2016 at 22:19

0

Doesn’t really matter because pretty much no one has a “real” sunroof these days, but a sunroof was historically an opaque (normally metal) panel, while a moonroof is clear.

jimz > Sam 05/01/2016 at 22:24

1

Nissan dicks are the worst. they prattle on about their KA-this or VQ-that, like we’re all supposed to just understand what the fuck they’re talking about.

jimz > Amoore100 05/01/2016 at 22:31

0

when people fawn about how cars used to be “easy to fix,” they’re only telling you half of the story. it was good that older cars were easy to fix because you always had to fix something on the fucking things. Old cars were shit. they weren’t “reliable” just because it was easy to fix everything which broke on them.

GE90man > scoob 05/01/2016 at 22:43

0

I didn't know that the 4 in Carrera 4s stands for AWD, so every time someone asked me for the perfect 911, people would think I'm a total poseur

Amoore100 > jimz 05/01/2016 at 22:44

0

I didn’t say it didn’t break, but it was a lot easier to fix than our current Volvos. Back then my dad could basically mend anything with a wrench, a manual, and a few other tools. Our current Volvos throw engine codes about once a month and each time is another trip to the shop for a MAF, oxygen sensor, or other exciting electrical bit. What I’m saying is that the 740 turbo wagon, while not the fastest, best, or most reliable, was basically the only choice for those wanting the attributes that it offered, and the fact that Volvo was willing to sell it to us Americans was what made it awesome.

Nick Has an Exocet > TheJWT 05/01/2016 at 22:47

1

Yeah, I used to have no idea how the turbo encabulator worked. I still don’t quite understand the spurving bearings.

Funktheduck > swaptastic 05/01/2016 at 22:56

0

I didn't realize there was a difference until I just read that. I usually just say drivetrain to refer to the whole thing but I guess power train makes more sense.

derf > MLGCarGuy 05/01/2016 at 22:59

1

Hey, at least you didn’t get a tattoo of it.

citizennick > scoob 05/01/2016 at 23:02

0

I used to think the 3.0T badge on the Audi S4's meant they were turbocharged.

Funktheduck > facw 05/01/2016 at 23:02

0

I thought it was the other way around

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > jimz 05/01/2016 at 23:04

0

I’ve gotten similar responses when it comes to Toyota and Honda engines. K24JZ? Don’t know or care. Not that I haven’t anything against those who do know and care.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > scoob 05/01/2016 at 23:25

0

I used to think all cars were AWD and when I found out a certain car was not I thought it was a cheap piece of crap.

Used to think OHV, SOHC, DOHC were actual words and not acronyms.

A worn out clutch meant your transmission was toast and your car was now headed for the junkyard. To be fair, my first car was an ‘84 Escort with more rust than steel and three tones of brown. It was a 4 speed with a worn clutch, wasn’t with anything, and went to scrap.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > scoob 05/01/2016 at 23:26

1

It’s not really about cars and not really embarrassing, but when I was younger, I though traffic lights were controlled by a guy. Like a man in an underground room full of switches with a camera that watched the intersection.